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A love letter from my disordered soul to yours

July 30, 20234 min read

A love letter from my soul to yours

When I pull my hair out, it is a symptom of internal conflict. It is a messenger of war. It is a marker of frustration.

For the longest time, I was so deep in the trenches of shame that I couldn’t see beyond I am wrong, this is wrong, I am a freakshow, why do I have to be this way?

Now, after almost 30 long years of self-hatred, I can look upon this disordered behaviour with love. I see now, I understand, I hear you. 

I know you are just like me. Your symptoms may differ, but the war rages within just the same. 

Your spirit cannot be suppressed. It will not.

So disorder rages.

Self-sabotage rules.

They told you that you are not enough.

And slowly, over time, you believed them. 

You keep trying to fit in.

Little pieces of you stand out: maybe you have pink hair or you took your kids out of school, or did some other rebellious act to show the world that you will not cow down.

But inside, there is damage. There is war.

Spirit vs mind. Truth vs conditioning.

And the rebellion redirects itself against yourself.

You vs you.

The disorders, impulses, and addictions.

The self-sabotage, procrastination and shame.

Is all a symptom of the internal war that rages inside.

Maybe you are aware of it, or maybe you are numb to it by now.

Every way that this conflict leaks into your existence is wrong; by society's standards and your own.

You use self-effacing labels like





You grab onto labels and make them your entire identity. Something to help you understand the way you are.

I think I have ADHD… that’s all this is, you say.

But what if there is more to it?

You are an incredible, intelligent human who has been dismissed and stifled and made wrong.

You don’t know which way is up anymore. You feel inside out, back to front and upside down compared to everyone around you.

You are so devoted and disciplined that you keep showing up anyway, in a self-perpetuating prison sentence of self-flagellation.

I don’t get it! You say.

I work so hard!

Maybe I need another course.

I’m following ALL the steps.

The war rages on:





I’m here to tell you that it is time to stop holding your breath now.

It is time to exhale.

You are not wrong. 

You are simply meant to operate on a different plane from the masses.

You are head and shoulders above them. Your brain is more powerful. There is nothing step-by-step or linear about you.

It is time to stop fighting it.

It is time to submit to the work you know you MUST do.

This is not for the faint of heart.

It is not easy.

This is knees on the earth, hands towards the sky stuff.

What must come through you has nothing to do with 



I help statements

Following someone 2 steps ahead of you.

Every time your fire starts to take hold you dowse it by looking around you at everyone else.

By doubting yourself

It is time to let go of what you think is right.

It is time to trust and do what you must.

To unfollow and unsubscribe from all that is outside of you.

To listen to the nudges and whispers.

To let go of shame and fear.

To listen to the messages your disorders are trying to bring you.

The magic you are here to share with the world doesn’t look like anyone else’s. That’s why their frameworks are not working for you. 

But following your own intel requires an act of metaphorically stepping off a cliff blindfolded.

At the bottom, lies everything you’ve ever dreamed of and way, way more- beyond your mind's capacity to imagine. The way down is scary, but you must do this, and I am waiting at the top to hold you in a warm embrace and let you know that it is worth it. SO worth it. 

At the bottom is the Garden of Eden.


A place where you pull ideas through without ever raising your head and looking around.

A place where offers and content flows through with ease.

A place where you know your offers sell because they came through you and only you and they are a perfect match for your perfect clients. 

This work is not easy.

But continuing on the path you are on is an abandonment of your spirit and soul.

If you are reading this, my love, welcome Home. It is your time.



Join me in my long-term mastermind membership to remember who you came here to be and then go forward from that place. Your business, your way.

Dead Dreams (Revival) Society Experience Long Term Mastermind:

disordershamedysfunctiontrichotillomaniahair pullingself sabotageself doubtself worthconfidencecourage
Leader of the Anti-Hustle Club community, Ginny is a Personal Success Mentor specialising in holistic self leadership and accountability for business owners.

Ginny Gaunt

Leader of the Anti-Hustle Club community, Ginny is a Personal Success Mentor specialising in holistic self leadership and accountability for business owners.

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